We’re burying my mother today, I’m not entirely sure what to expect. There seem to be “moments” since she passed that have been peaceful and calm. Almost too calm. The kind of calm where I feel guilty for being so calm. And then there are the other moments. The Bible refers to grief coming from a place in your bowels. When Jacob grieved it was that kind of grief. I think the modern day term is that it’s like a kick in the gut. It’s like I’m OK most of the time punctuated by moments of getting kicked in the gut.
I’ve been wondering if she’ll actually be able to see what’s going on today. Hebrews refers to this “great cloud of witnesses”. There is some debate as to whether that is just those listed in Hebrews 10-11 or if it includes all loved ones who have gone on. In the past I’ve liked to come down on the side of those who think it’s all who have gone on before. Today I really like that idea.
I was also wondering a lot about what the first day in heaven is like. In fairness, since the Bible says that a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years like a day, it would seem like you could get a lot done. I don’t mean this in a cheeky way, but I seriously wonder if there is some sort of orientation that someone must go through.
Getting a map of the place, maybe a guided tour of where everything is, phone numbers for people who can help out, and then maybe a party with all those who had gone on before who were special to you with friends, relatives and for my mom a cameo appearance from Elvis. She never got to go to Graceland here, but hanging with Elvis surely would trump that.
This might sound stupid but I also have thought a little about what my mom knows about me personally now. Does she know every little detail, nook and cranny of my life. There are many things I’ve done in my life that I’m not proud of that she doesn’t know about. Does she know them now? Were there pictures? I really, truly, surely hope not.
I have taken comfort in one line of thinking these past few days.
It was hard for me to get my mind wrapped around how a mother could go to a place with no more tears and not cry over missing her husband and children. If indeed a day is like a thousand years in heaven, then in all reality, in Gods economy, this will only be like a few minutes for a loved one before their loved ones join them.
For my Father, maybe it would only feel like a few seconds. I don’t know how God makes that stuff work, it falls under the category of “He is God and I am Not”. But I do believe it, and I believe that in the next few heavenly minutes my mom is learning a lot and having the time of her life. For the next few heavenly minutes, her boys will go on with their lives here knowing that before too long, we’ll see her again.
Just over two weeks my mother went to the doctor thinking she had a kidney stone and arthritis. Today she is in heaven. For those of you who have joined me on this journey through this process, I wonder if you would join me in examining your own life like I have been examining my own.
The Bible says that our life here is like a vapor. It goes so fast. I got a front row seat to that. There are lots of things that I have been “planning” to do that I haven’t gotten around to. I am very much examining my priorities. There will be changes.
This might also be a good time for you to examine your relationship with the Lord. His relationship with you is just fine. He has never gone anywhere. But your relationship back to Him. It might be a good time to examine that. Maybe take some time to get that on track if it’s off. If you have never had a relationship with the Lord. I you’ve never started down that road, then today is your day.
With everything going on in the world stage in Russia, China, and the Middle East it would seem that maybe we have fewer “minutes” left than any of us might think. 10 years ago Russia was completely bankrupt. Just a few weeks ago they were marching in a military parade like it was 1985, a nation that is now rich on our oil money.
We all think we have so much time. We’re all prone to that spiritual
procrastination. Maybe the death of my mother can serve as one more reminder along the way.
And Mom, if you have the internet in heaven and can read this. Thanks. Thanks for everything.
I’ll see you in a few minutes.