Conduit March 23- Hamburger Helper Monday

Allen Balta is a member of a group called Mensa.   Mensa is an international group that according to it’s website:

.Mensa “provides a forum for intellectual exchange among members. Its activities include the exchange of ideas by lectures, discussions, journals, special-interest groups, and local, regional, national, and international gatherings; the investigations of members’ opinions and attitudes; and assistance to researchers, inside and outside Mensa, in projects dealing with intelligence or Mensa.” [Mensa Constitution]

To put it in terms I can understand, it’s an organization for smart people to get together with other smart people and be smart together.  Sounds like a hoot don’t it.  (improper contraction intended)

To get into Mensa you need an IQ of 130 or higher.   This isn’t just your average bunch of star trek convention going folks.  These are astrophysicist kinds of people whose idea of a good time is to sit around discussing the effects of thermo nuclear radiation on the body of a bird.

They don’t necessarily pontificate on unanswerable questions like “Can God make a rock so big He can’t lift it?”   They attack answerable questions like::  If it were two hours later, it would be half as long until midnight as it would be if it were an hour later. What time is it now?   And: There are 1200 elephants in a herd. Some have pink and green stripes, some are all pink and some are all blue. One third are pure pink. Is it true that 400 elephants are definitely blue?

With this in mind, it’s curious that one of Allen’s aspirations was to beat the Guinness World Record for the most hugs in one hour.   He decided to do this at a recent gathering of Mensa at the Rocky Mountain High Q Convention.  I can only assume that pun was intended and found to be hysterical and witty by the members of Mensa.

Armed with the information that the record was 765 hugs in one hour, Allen (of course) did the math and figured out that with 3600 seconds in an hour that he would need only one hug every 4 seconds to soar over the top of this record with over 900 hugs.   He and his fellow high IQers hugged the hour away and, as predicted, he easily beat 765 hugs.

Unfortunately for Allen and his “hugathon” he didn’t make the record because of what might be called with a sense of understatement, an oversight.   Perhaps he was just blinded by unbridled enthusiasm for getting that many hugs from others that would include High IQ chicks.   I’m not entirely sure if it’s possible to feel stupid when you have an IQ of 150, but I suggest Allen might.

For you see, upon submitting his record to Guinness he was informed that the record for the most hugs in an hour was not 765 and Allen had in fact missed the record by some 300 hugs.   Allen who has an IQ on par with people like Einstein completely blew it by basing his goal on erroneous information.

I hate it when I miss the easy stuff. I have a tendency in my daily world to mess up on the easy stuff.  The fundamentals.

I think that’s why I relate to Israel so much.  They blew it over and over again on the easy stuff.  Chapter 17 is no exception.   Just a few weeks earlier they’re watching God part actual sea water into walls on either side so they could walk on dry ground and now they’re freaking out because they’re thirsty.

Chapter 17 also introduces us to a pesky little enemy called Amalek.  The Amalekites are sworn enemies of Israel who according to Deut 25 would kill the feeble and the weak who would fall behind on the Journey.  Kind of like the hyena’s of ancient times.

OK so important news for Monday night.  In the spirit of solidarity with the economic down turn we’re doing to have a special Hamburger Helper Monday.   Seriously.  It’s the cheapest gourmet dinner.  It’s bursting with those carbs that you love and that excellent “flavors” that we have come to know and love in America.

If you can bring a pound of beefy magic, please email me at  If you can’t bring anything, do not hesitate to come anyway.   We’ll make sure there is plenty for everyone.

We’ll start at 7:30 as usual, but if you’re bringing food, try to bring that a few minutes early.   No Kitchen access to try to bring it in a crock pot, or slow cooker, or electric frying pan.

I know it’s last minute, but hey, It’s hamburger helper.  How easy and last minute is that.


Wanna do lunch this week?  Me too.  Let’s buy lunch for a kid in Haiti.  $15 feeds a child for a month.  You can “do lunch” a few times.   You can donate online at


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